


Good Enough

by Juju_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anorexia, Dean & You Friendship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Sam Winchester, Male-Female Friendship, Menstruation, POV Female Character, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Fluff, Self Confidence, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-07-10 23:03:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juju_Winchester/pseuds/Juju_Winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean save you from demons when you come home for spring break only for you to develop a crush on the younger Winchester. You end up living with them in the bunker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How it all started

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So glad you stumbled upon my work. This is my first ever fan fiction so don't expect it be that great. Any positive comments or suggestions are appreciated. Also wanted to add that there is no smut cause I'm not really good at writing it. Also, it takes a long time for any relationship to actually occur between the reader and Sam so just bear with me here. Hope you enjoy!  
> P.S. This entire work is written from the POV of the reader so it's going to be like "I opened the door" not "You opened the door". Just thought that you would want to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine this chapter to be around season 4 just without Ruby and the demon blood thing. Also the demons are still looking for Sam so he can lead them into the Angels vs. Demons war.  
> P.S. the bunker also exists.

I just came back from UCLA for a family filled spring break back in Lawrence, Kansas. I got home in a taxi because my mom forgot me at the airport, which is sort of weird but whatever. She must be busy with her gardening that she got into now that I’m gone. 

“Hellllloooooooo!!!!!” I yell as I unlock the door, but I get no response. 

“Hello?” I say again with a different tone. I walk into the kitchen and there I see my mom and dad sitting at the dinner table with their clothes all bloody and our family dog, Luna Lovegood (named after the best character in the Harry Potter series), on the table. She was tied down and she was whimpering and I open my mouth to scream but all that comes it was a squeak. Then both my parents lift their heads at the same time to look at me, their eyes pitch black. 

“Oh, honey come on in we were expecting you!” my mother said in a cheerful tone.

“Yes come and tell your old man how college is. We missed you during Christmas, so come and spill it all out” my dad said calmer than ever before. My mother then pulled me to one of the chairs and my fathers tied me down and that’s when I saw her. Our neighbor Mrs. Abernathy lying on the ground. I let out a blood curdling scream, now that I found my voice, which was soon muffled by the towel stuffed in my mouth by my mom.

“No need to be afraid now dearest, it’s just me and your old pops. Mrs. Abernathy was just in the way, and…well I think you’re smart enough to know what happened after that.” she said as she flashed me those black eyes. Then she got out a pocket knife and she slashed my wrists and left a bowl underneath them. I yelled out pain, or at least I tried to. Then she, or should I say it, left with what used to be my father into the next room whispering something I couldn’t make out. My face was bright red and my eyes were stinging with tears. Then I saw green eyes looking at me through the kitchen window. I screamed a muffled scream and tried to motion to them that the back door was unlocked with my eyes and the figure outside nodded. That door was always unlocked after Luna buried the keys in the backyard and we couldn’t find them. 

The figure slowly walked in from the backdoor as quietly as possible. He was tall and had short dirty blonde hair and a chiseled face. He put his finger to his lips motioning for me to be quiet. I nodded and then nodded my head to the back where the door to the next room was slightly open. Then he nodded and motioned behind him and someone else walked in. This guy was even taller and his brown hair swooped down the sides of his face. I tried to make out his eye color but every time he turned a different angle they would change. They went inside the next room carefully stepping over poor Mrs. Abernathy. When they opened the door I heard the thing inside my mom say “The Winchesters! What brings you two here!” 

Then I blacked out.


	2. The after burn

I woke up and around to see myself in my childhood bedroom. I thanked god almighty that it was just a dream, and then I felt it.

The pain.

It was everywhere but mainly my wrists. I looked down to see them wrapped in flannels and my clothes all bloody. I screamed and then the guys from yesterday came into my room. “Calm down, princess. You’re alright” said the one with green eyes. The taller one came and sat down next to me. He started to talk but I wasn’t paying attention at all. I was looking at his eyes again, they looked so understanding and caring and yet so fierce and strong at the same time.

I shook my head and said “Wait what did you say???” after hearing the word demons. Just then Luna walked in and started licking at my feet then she came and sat in my lap.

“My name’s Sam and that’s my brother Dean, we hunt everything supernatural. We saved you and your dog from demons who were possessing your parents. I’m sorry to say it but your parents didn’t make it.”

Sam. I rolled it around in my head. It suited him. Then I snapped back to reality.

“My parents! What happened to them?” I said quickly trying to get up but I just fell back on the bed and I groaned in pain. He held my hand and told me to calm down and that I needed some rest.

“Some rest! How can I rest when my parents are dead?” I snapped back.

Both of them exchanged glances and then looked at me with confusion smeared all over their faces.

“So you believe us?” said Dean.

“About what?” I said.

Sam cut in “About demons and all things supernatural?”

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t feel like you guys would lie to me.” What I said confused me as much as it confused them, but they had something about them that just made me trust them.

“Well, we need to get going soon. We decided to wait until you woke up to check on you and we’ll get out of your hair and you don’t need to see us ever again” Sam said as he stood up showing his ripped flannel.

“Wait!” I called out just as they were leaving the room, “I didn’t even thank you guys.”

Dean laughed and said “Well that was enough of a thank you for us”

“Can I at least give you a shirt since I ripped yours?” I asked Sam.

He nodded and then whispered something to his brother. He then helped me up and walked me to my closet. I gave him one if my biggest flannels even though it was my favorite to cuddle up in cold nights but he deserved it. Since he saved my life and all. Dean then came into the room and started talking.

“So, you got anywhere to go after this?” He asked casually.

That’s when I remembered that I couldn’t really stay home and I couldn’t go back to college. My parents couldn’t afford to take me back to UCLA. I was going to tell them that I dropped out so we could have some money in our pockets, but then…. Well you know what happened. I turned to Dean and said “Actually, no I don’t.”

“You can stay with us for a while at the bunker. That is until you find a place to stay” Sam piped in.

“Hey. We never really got your name” Dean said.

“Oh yeah, right, sorry. My name is Y/N.” I said.


	3. Leaving Home

“I should get packing if I want to come with you guys.”

“Yeah, I’ll help while Sammy changes his shirt”

Then Sam unbuttoned his shirt and threw it in a bag on the floor, my face went beet red and I stuck my head in the closet and acted like I was looking for something. Then Dean came and whispered in my ear.

“What? Our little princess can’t take seeing Sammy without a shirt. Don’t worry your secret’s safe with me.” He said smirking.

“Why are you calling me princess, I have a name you know?”

“Oh just feel like it suits you.”

“Just like “guy who’s gonna keep his mouth shut” suits you.” I whispered back. He let out an airy laugh and got my duffel that was on the floor.

“You point and I’ll pack.” Dean said

I pointed out some graphic tees and some jeans and 2 pairs of high wasted shorts. When it came to the underwear I told dean to step away and that I could handle it. I tried but my hands were so bruised up because I tried wriggling my hands out of the rope yesterday. Then Sam came up behind me, his breath on my neck.

“Need any help there?” he asked

I nodded and looked back where Dean was and then he winked at me. I rolled my eyes. I asked Sam to put 5 of each and he obliged. I then asked him to put in a pouch I had on my vanity.

“What’s that?” he asked

“Oh nothing, just my makeup.” I replied and he just nodded and put it in my bag. Luna followed us outside to the car.

***

In no time we were riding in Deans “baby”, as he called it. It was a cool car. An impala 67’ black 4 doors and (the best part) a hidden compartment for guns in the trunk. Dean was really happy that I liked the car and Sam just rolled his eyes at him. Then I got out a book and tried opening it and failed. I look up and saw Sam looking at me through the rear view mirror and he was smiling.

“Don’t laugh! This isn’t funny! I am struggling” I said fake angry. I gave up with the book and realized Sam was reading one too. So I just went and looked over his shoulder and started reading with him. Dean look at me and smirked and I stuck my tongue at him and he laughed. Sam was oblivious to all of this until I asked him to wait because I didn’t finish the page that he was flipping. He turned and he was mere inches away from my face.

“You’re reading with me?” he asked

“Yeah, I gave up on my book so I decided to join you” I said as my face started to blush at the close proximity. He smiled and turned around and let me put my head on his shoulder to read with him. After about 10 minutes, Sam had put down the book and I just sat and looked out the window and I started to fall asleep until I hit my head on the window on a major bruise on my forehead. I groaned and then looked down and realized that Luna was still with us and she was asleep.

“Stop the car!” I told Dean.

“What? What? Are you OK? Are you hurt?” he answered quickly.

“No, I’m fine. I just forgot about Luna Lovegood” I answered. Sam chuckled.

“Who?” both boys asked

“My dog!” I replied, “My mom’s friend lives here and we can drop her off and say that we are going on a road trip” I explained

“You named your dog after Luna Lovegood!” Sam asked laughing

“Yes. She is only one of the best characters in the whole series. Didn’t take you as the harry potter sorta guy Sam.” I answered

“Wait, who” asked Dean. Sam and I cracked up laughing, I opened the door and picked up Luna and told the boys that I’ll be back in 5.

***

I waved at Mrs. Samuel as we drove away to the bunker already missing Luna. But the future holds lots of adventures that I was looking forward to.


	4. New Home Sweet New Home

We were driving when I realized that I had bruises everywhere on my body and I don’t remember getting into a fist fight yesterday. I lifted my head up and turned to Dean.

“Hey Dean, what happened yesterday after I blacked out?” I asked.

“Well, the demons took you upstairs after they knocked us down to the floor. They seemed to need you for something. Then, when we were about to shoot them, they pushed you down the stairs and ran away. Hey, speaking of, did they say anything to you yesterday?” he asked.

I shook my head and went back to staring out the window. Then I started to fall back asleep and this time, scooted down and lay my head on the leather car seats and just let it happen.

After sometime, I felt the car stop but I was too lazy to move. I couldn’t sleep the entire ride, I just closed my eyes. I stayed that way even when we stopped. Then I felt someone nudge me, but I moaned in annoyance. Then they picked me up like I weighed nothing. I was too tired to say anything so I just cuddled up to his warm chest. My eyes fluttered open expecting Dean, but I saw a swoop of brown hair and I immediately closed my eyes. Sam! I felt the blush rise through my cheeks and I nuzzled my face to his chest acting asleep. I heard him laugh and he continued walking.

I woke up on a couch in an unfamiliar room. I guess I’m in the bunker they were talking about. I put my head up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes only to see someone staring at me. I jumped up and realized it was just Dean and I started laughing.

“Rise and shine Princess! Want some breakfast, we’ve got some pie” he said.

“Wait, what? Its morning already? Why didn’t you wake me up?” I replied

“You looked so peaceful and Sammy told me not to wake you up.” He replied, “Speak of the devil. Morning Sammy, how’d you sleep?” looking behind me.

“Well you seem an awful lot cheerful today. What’s up with that?” Sam said from somewhere behind me and dean just looked at me and winked. I tried standing up and it wasn’t as painful as yesterday, I walked a few stepped until I toppled over and bumped into Sam.

“Whoops, sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” I said hurriedly. I looked up and saw that he was wearing a tight fitting shirt that showed all his taut muscles. Wow, he really is a Greek god. He helped me up and sat me down on the couch.

“You know that you still need some rest, you were pretty beat up back there.” He said concerned.

I laughed and said “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself” I said as he started to take off my make shift bandages.

“I just need to clean it up and I’ll wrap it back up when I’m done.” he said. I nodded and pulled out my other arm in front of him. During all of this Dean got out of the room and came back excited.

“Sammy, I found a job not far from here!” he said. Sam nodded and kept on cleaning me up.

“How’s sleeping beauty doing?” Dean asked

“She’s much better than yesterday and she healed really quickly” Sam said surprised.

“Hey maybe if she well enough, she can come with us on this hunt?” said Dean


	5. My First Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short chapter, sorry.

“WHAT?” Sam yelled out.

“Come on Sam it’s just a little nest of vampires.” Dean said nonchalantly

“Dean, she’s wounded and she isn’t ready!” Sam said exasperated

“I can come, I’m fine. Never better!” I piped in talking for myself

“See, she said it she’s fine. Come on man, its just 3 vampires. She’ll just follow us around and she’ll be fine” Dean replied

“Fine, just stay close and don’t get hurt.” Sam said

I jumped up and down and they smirked at my excitedness. Let me rephrase that, I tried to jump up and down but it wasn’t that easy since my knees were beaten up to jelly.

“I’ll just take a quick shower and I’ll be ready in 10” I shouted as I got lost trying to find the shower. When I finally did, I got in and relaxed under the hot water. I started singing a song that was stuck in my head for days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kf8a3vcjUc

***

We were in the car heading to the vamp nest and I was nervously excited. Dean told me to stay behind him and Sam was going to watch out for my back.

We got down and both boys got machetes and I was stuck with a tiny dagger, but I didn’t whine because I knew I couldn’t really handle anything they had in that trunk. When we were inside I was immediately caught in a Winchester sandwich and I couldn’t breathe.

“Guys, I kinda need to breathe y’know” I said. The guys loosened up and as soon as they did I felt a sharp pain and yelled out. My hand darted to my lower stomach where the pain was coming from. I lifted my hand to see it was covered in blood. Wow, I thought to myself, messed up on my first ever hunt, they’ll never let me hunt again.

I fell to the floor and saw something move behind the boys.

“Look out behind you!” I yelled out just before I lost consciousness.


	6. Don't Tell Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is where some of the anorexia shows. Sorry if i mess up on some details whether it be on anorexia or anything else cause I'm not really anorexic.

I woke up in a strange room. I lifted my head and I put it back down as I felt a migraine start up. I groaned in pain and remembered what happened before I blacked out, I got scared.

“DEAN!” I yelled out worried. Last time I saw them they were being attacked.

“SAM!” I tried to get up and I fell back down and remembered the pain in my lower stomach. I fell back on the bed, I looked out the window and I saw it was night. I was gonna call out again but Sam walked in.

“Oh thank god!” I said and laid back on the bed, “Is Dean OK?” I asked. He nodded.

“Thanks to you. We would’ve been dead if you didn’t warn us.” He replied

“You guys could handle it, it was nothing.” I said laughing, then groaning at the pain that it caused.

“Whoa, calm down. You need to rest.” He said

“What happened?” I asked my voice full of pain.

“You were shot. DEAN, COME IN, Y/N WOKE UP AND I NEED YOUR HELP!” he yelled out.

“How you doing princess?” Dean asked as he walked in. I nodded in pain,

“I’m fine, how about you?” I replied

“Well I’m fine, but you, sweetheart, are clearly not” he replied he look over to Sam and Sam whispered something in his ear and he nodded. He walked over to me gingerly.

“Okay, princess this is gonna hurt so hold my hand.” He said softly as Sam walked over.

“What? What are you gonna do?” I said, fear washing over me.

“I’m gonna need you to sit still while I try to take out the bullet, OK?” Sam said

“OK” I replied nervously as I grabbed Dean’s hands and squeezed, he didn’t say anything. Then I felt an unbelievable pain and I cried out hugging Dean like there was no tomorrow and he held on to me careful not to hurt me. Then the pain subsided and I let out a cry as dean hugged me tight. It hurt so bad.

“Here, hold her Sammy while I get her some water.” Dean said, Sam nodded and took me into his arms, I couldn’t stop crying and I just held on tightly. He whispered in my ear

“Y/N I’m gonna need you to get on the bed so I can stitch it up, alright?” I nodded and he put me down and got out some whiskey and poured it over the wound and I yelled out in pain as he took a cloth and put a lot of pressure on it. He then slowly but carefully stitched me up. He offered me a shot of whiskey but I shook my head. I don’t drink and I don’t ever plan to, in pain or not. I put my arms around his neck and I wouldn’t let go. He rubbed my back until I calmed down. Dean came in with a glass of water and a sandwich.

“You stitched her up?” he asked. Sam nodded.

“She got 4 stitches. She didn’t even take a shot for the pain, man. She handled it better than you did that time we ran out of drinks.” Sam smirked. I laughed a little but I couldn’t really get it out cause of all the pain.

“Here, eat something. You need it.” Dean said walking over. I shook my head and took the glass of water and left the sandwich. Dean pushed it towards me urging me to eat, but I couldn’t, not now. I shook my head again and he got mad.

“Listen here, princess you haven’t eaten anything in 2 days and you’ve lost a whole lot of blood, so eat up.” He said sternly

“But Dean!” I whined

“No but’s, eat, now.” He said

“Fine!” I said under my breath, I took the sandwich and took a tiny bite out of it.

“I’m full, now I’m tired. So please leave.” I said calmly. Dean looked exasperated but he left without saying anything, Sam smirked and left. I put my head down cause I really was tired. I fell asleep faster than I ever had in my entire life, but I regretted it soon enough.


	7. The Start of Something Terrible

I was running.

Running, running, running, never looking back.

I looked around to see I was home. I didn’t want to look back because I knew something evil was running after me. I heard it cackle loudly.

“You’ll never get away from me, sweetheart. Those Winchesters can’t save you from me. I need you, and I will have you soon enough.”

I woke up panting and sweating. I got up and looked around. I winced at the movement but kept on going. In the room there was my duffel on the table and an open first aid kit on the floor, Sam probably left it there. I looked at my phone, it was 3:24 am. I got out of what I assumed is my room and went down the hall. The room right next to me was slightly open and I saw that Dean was awake.

“Dean” I croaked out trying to stay quiet. He looked up, concern in his eyes but he calmed down after seeing that I was OK.

“Can I stay with you for a while?” I asked. He nodded and moved over on the bed and patted down motioning for me to sit beside him.

“What’s wrong princess?” Dean asked confused. I curled up next to him and I wrapped my arms around him. I realized that I loved Dean like a best friend, no, like a brother. And the way he was acting towards me told me he felt the same, so I was comfortable in this position.

“I had a nightmare.” I said expecting him to laugh, but he just wrapped his arms around me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. I nodded against his chest.

“I was running in my old house and I felt something evil chasing me. It started laughing at me and he said that I would never get away from him because he needed me and that even the Winchesters couldn’t save me from him.” I whispered. He kissed my forehead and told me it was just a dream and that I should fall asleep.

“But what if it comes back?” I asked worriedly.

“I’ll be here to save my princess.” He smirked and kissed my head and fell asleep a few moments before I did.


	8. Waking up

I woke up early the next day and Dean was still asleep. I crept out of bed trying not to wake him. I went to the bathroom and lifted my shirt to see the wound. It was a little red and it hurt at the touch but it wasn’t bleeding. Sam walked into the bathroom without knocking and he got out quickly.

“Sorry, should’ve knocked.” He said through the door. I opened it.

“No its fine I was just leaving” I smiled and went to the kitchen. He followed suit a few minutes later. I was drinking water.

“Do you ever eat?” asked Sam

“Occasionally.” I replied laughing

“No, but seriously, you need to eat. We’ve got some pie.” He said

“No thanks, I’m good.” I refused

“If you say so.” Said Sam slightly annoyed

“OK, quit the lovefest, we’ve got a job.” Dean said walking in. I immediately started blushing.

“We’re not having a lovefest, Dean. Seriously, you quit it.” Replied Sam, “When did you have time to find a job”

“I didn’t, but Bobby did. Apparently, the vamp nest was out when we went there. There are about 6 left, maybe more” He explained. I perked up and dean noticed. ”and you Princess are not coming and that is final.”

“But Deeaaan…” I whined “I’m fine, so much better, look” I lifted my shirt and realized I was not better. I was bleeding, again. “Sam, why am I still bleeding?”

“I don’t know I stitched you up last night!” he sounded scared

“Sam!” I said just before I blacked out. Again.

***

I woke up hazy. I looked around and saw Sam and Dean sitting next to me. They seemed to be talking but I couldn’t hear anything. I groaned and they turned towards me. My hand fell to my wound and I felt something wet, I lifted my hand to see it covered in blood and I started panicking. The boys seemed to realize and I felt a whole lot of pressure on my wound. I closed my eyes and faded back into the darkness. Then I felt nothing. No pain. No fear. No nothing. 

***

I woke up. I looked around (once again) and saw Sam and Dean sleeping in some chairs they brought to my room. I groaned again and I heard it this time. Sam stirred a little and then he woke up. He rubbed his eyes and realized I was awake. He bent down next to me.

“Hey, Y/N. How you doing?” he said, his words laced with worry.

“Am I dead?” I asked.

“No, but we thought you were. Your heart beat stopped for some time we got scared half to death. But you came back to us. Your heart beat was weak for a long time. Still is” he said with his hands on your neck, “you need some rest”

“Why did I bleed out again?” I asked confused

“Well, I’m pretty sure you have anemia or something because you were supposed to get a scab to cover up your scar but you didn’t have enough blood. There is also the factor that you haven’t eaten in 3 days and lost about a liter of blood” he said quietly as to not wake up Dean.

“I’m so glad we didn’t lose you Y/N. I couldn’t….um we, we couldn’t afford to lose you.” he said quickly. Then Dean woke up.

“Sammy, how’s Y/N?” he said his eyes still closed. I giggled and he lifted his head up, a huge smile on his face. ”You’re up, God I was worried sick. Don’t you ever do that to me again princess or I’ll kill you myself” said Dean “What you’re doing to yourself isn’t healthy and don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“Did you guys have a chance to go to the vamp nest?” I asked changing the subject.

“Uh uh, princess, we aint changing the subject just yet. Now answer me, why aren’t you eating?”

“I’m just not hungry Dean, that’s all” I said. That was a lie. I wasn’t going to tell him the truth or else he’ll never leave me alone.

“Stop lying. Just because I’ve known you for 3 days doesn’t mean I don’t know when you’re lying. You need help and this is defiantly not helping you” he was yelling now.

“Why do you care, you hardly know me, just drop me off at some cheap motel and leave me. I’m just a burden that keeps dragging you down. You guys already wasted half your first aid kits on me” I yelled back.

“I can’t do that, Y/N” he said calmly

“And why is that?” I asked, still mad

“….” He didn’t say anything

“I’m not the only one keeping secrets here, am I?” I asked.

“Remember that dream you told me about.” Dean said. I nodded, “Well it wasn’t just a dream.”

“What do you mean?” I asked

“There is a demon out there that really wants you and no one else, and we don’t know why. So you are staying here until we find out. And while you’re here I would like to see you eat once in a while. That’s that, end of conversation. Now get some rest.” And with that they both left the room.

A few minutes after they left, I was sitting there just thinking if I should tell Dean or not. He would just laugh at me. Should I tell Dean that I think I’m anorexic? I don’t think he would laugh at that but I think he would laugh at the reason. A few months ago, back in October I was getting ready for Halloween, I wanted to impress my crush, this guy named Jared, who loved skinny girls. He never even noticed me until I wore a corset to suck in my belly. He flirted and everything, but when I went to him the next day without the corset, he told me I looked disgusting and that he never wanted to see me again. After that I just thought all boys were like that, so I stopped eating so I could get a boyfriend because I never had one before. Then, during Christmas, I didn’t go home cause I didn’t want my mom to be worried. After that I started to gain my weight back and I felt happy, so I decided to go home during spring break, and…well, you know the rest. But what I didn’t realize was that a week after I booked my ticket, my eating habits started to go downhill, again.

Then when I saw Sam, I wanted to be thin so he would like me. I wasn’t pretty or talented or anything, so why not be thin. Then, out of nowhere, a man in a trench coat stood at the foot of my bed.

“Hello, Y/N” he said calmly, “My name is Castiel and I am an angel of the lord”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH”


	9. Meeting an angel

“DEAN!!! SAM!!! HELP!” I yelled out.

“No need to be afraid.” The angel said so quietly. Then he tilted his head and had an odd look on his face, like he was looking through my soul. “Why do you think that of yourself?” he asked. I was very confused until I realized, it didn’t look like he was looking through my soul because he actually did. Then Sam busted into the room with dean on his tail.

“What happened? Are you OK?” Sam asked and his face turned to the angel and he had an annoyed look on his face.

“Cas! Why do you keep doing this to us, man?” Dean yelled out.

“Cas?” I asked

“Yeah sorry Y/N. This here is Cas, our angel friend. Cas, this is Y/N.” Dean said

“Oh yes, I have discovered this information.” Cas answered

“You did? When?” asked dean

“Oh just now, I read her mind.” He said it so calmly like it was something so normal.

“Great! So angels are real and you forgot to mention that you have one as a friend?” I asked.

“Dean, why does your friend think that of herself?” Cas asked ignoring me

“Think what?” dean asked

“That she isn’t g….”

“Stop it right there mister, just because you read my mind doesn’t mean you tell everyone about.” I said sternly

“I came to tell Sam and dean to watch out about the vampire hunt they were planning on go on” Cas said

“Why? They’re just vampires” said Sam

“Yes, that’s true but they want to get to Sam. Not only the vampires but demons and everything else. They want Sam to lead them into the war against angels” cas explained

“Oh this again. What, should we bring extra weapons or backup?” asked dean seriously

“No, just make sure not to bring her” he said

“Care to explain” I piped in.

“How about we take this outside?” Sam said, and with that they left me on my bed confused as hell.


	10. Dean needs help

About half an hour later, dean stuck his head in and said that we needed to talk.

“About what?” I asked acting innocent.

“Why didn’t you tell me Y/N?” he asked sadly

“Tell you what?” I said keeping up my act.

“Cas told me everything. Why didn’t you tell me? I could help you and we could have lost you back there because of all of this. You have to talk to me from now on ok. You tell me everything on your mind.” He said

“I don’t think I have to.” I said

“Why would you say that?” he replied

“If Cas told you that, then I’m pretty sure he told you everything else too.” I said

“Maybe, maybe not. Only way I’m gonna tell is if you eat that sandwich.” He said pointing at the plate on my bedside table. I nodded and I started wolfing down the sandwich because I was really hungry. When I was done I looked up at dean.

“Did he tell what I think he told you?” I asked

“Princess I didn’t need him to tell me you like Sam.” He said with a smirk.

“You knew! Am I that obvious?” I asked

“Yes, yes you are. And Sam is also very oblivious that’s why he hasn’t noticed anything.” He replied

“Did he tell you why I can’t come on the hunt?” I asked changing the subject that was turning me bright red.

“Yeah I’ll tell you about that later. Sam and I have to go gank those vamps and we’ll be back as soon as possible” he said as he left. He popped his head in my door way and said “You better eat something while we’re gone” I nodded and he left. I heard the impala’s engine start and I heard them drive away. I got up and peeled of my bloody clothes and cover my wound with Vaseline and got into the shower. I started singing that song again. I finished and I wrapped myself up in a towel and went back to my room. When I walked in I immediately saw Cas sitting on my bed. I jumped and I grabbed his attention.

“Oh, hello Y/N” He said, “I was listening to you sing in the shower, and might I say you have a lovely voice for a human.”

“Thanks…I guess” I replied,”Cas, I need to get dressed. so can you wait in the living room while I finish?”

“Why, yes I can.” He said as he left my room. I dropped my towel and started to look through my duffel for some comfortable clothes. As I looked up, I glanced at myself in the mirror and then immediately put my head down. I didn’t want to look at my body, not now, not ever. Every time I look, I feel disgusted and ashamed. But I couldn’t help myself. I traced my fingers over my various stretch marks and other scars and at my thighs and my not-so-flat not-so-fat stomach and let out a sigh. I was a hideous person on the outside and I couldn’t change it. Not that easily anyways. I finished getting dressed and went to the living room and sat down next to Cas on the couch.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” I said, plastering a fake smile on my face

“About why the demons and vampires want you. You seem to have a strong con…” He was cut off my dean slamming the door.

“HELP!”


	11. Sammy's Hurt

“SAMMY’S HURT!” He yelled out and I immediately ran to the door and Cas followed me to help Dean carry Sam. He had scratches all over his face and a black eye and a busted lip. The biggest wound was on his chest. He had big gash the length of my arm across his chest and he was breathing very slowly. We carried him to his room and dean ran to get the first aid kit. I took off my shirt and used it to put pressure on his chest. He groaned in pain as he gained back consciousness.

“It’s ok Sammy, calm down. Dean is gonna patch you up in a second, just relax.” I said as tears blurred my vision, I couldn’t stand to see Sam hurt. 

“Y/N” he said breathlessly.

“I’m right here, Sammy, right here” I replied just as breathless.

“Sing…to…me” he said in between grunts of pain.

“W-what?” a confused reply escaped my mouth.

“I heard you in the shower the… other day…..please sing.” He answered in between grunts.

“Ok, Ok I’ll sing as long as you stay awake, ok?” I asked nervously. I’ve never sang in front of anyone before, only about 3 people on this planet know that I can sing and they all kept their mouth shut and I thought it was because I wasn’t good enough. Sam grunted in approval of the deal. 

Carry on my wayward son

There’ll be peace when you are done

Lay you’re weary head to rest

Don’t you cry no more

 

Dean came in with first aid kit in hand and motion for me to move out of his way. Sam held onto me tightly.

“Don’t….go….stay….here….and sing” he said, voice full of pain. I looked up at dean and he nodded at me and just went to the other side of the bed. 

Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion

I was soaring ever higher

But I flew too high

 

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man

Though my mind could think I still was a mad man

I hear the voices when I'm dreaming,

I can hear them say

 

Carry on my wayward son,

There'll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest

Don't you cry no more


	12. Nightmares leading to good things

A few weeks passed and Sam was much better. The only thing getting worse in the bunker were my dreams. I would get the same dream every night, just running in different places. I would go sleep with Dean and they would go away. Except today.

I went to sleep in the moment that my head hit the pillow. And just like that, the dream started, and this time it was different. I was running in a field and there was someone in the distance. They were on the floor and they seemed to be in pain. I reached them and it was Sam. I held his head in my lap. Then he closed his eyes. I shook him and yelled at him to wake up, but he didn’t move a muscle. Then I heard him. That booming voice.

“You’ll never get away from me, sweetheart. Those Winchesters can’t save you from me. I need you, and I will have you soon enough. They’ll regret it sooner than you think.” 

Then I woke up, crying, sweating, and panting. I got up to go to Dean’s room. When I walked to his door I saw him fast asleep sprawled across the bed. He had been working hard on this last hunt and I knew he needed his rest. So decided to leave him there. I was just going to go back to my room when…

“Y/N.” I heard someone whisper. I moved my hand to my waistband where I kept my dagger. Dean let me keep it after he knew that a demon wanted me, but he still wouldn’t tell me why it did. I turned around and pointed the dagger in the direction the voice came from.

“Whoa, calm down it’s just me!” It was just Sam.

“Oh thank God!” I replied laughing.

“What are you doing up, it’s 2 in the morning?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same. You’re always asleep at this time.” I said

“You watch me when I sleep?” he asked confused.

“No…um…yes…um...maybe. Well not technically. It’s just that I get nightmares all the time and I usually go to Dean and you would be asleep…so um… yeah.” I explained quickly.

“Oh,” he said with a sadness in his voice, “you could stay with me tonight if you want.” He said nervously.

“Really.” I asked, cause I wasn’t going to go back to sleep unless I was next to somebody. He nodded and I thanked god. I walked with him to his room and I got into the covers as soon as possible.

“I was going to tell you to get comfortable, but you beat me to it!” he said laughing. I laughed and put my head on the pillow and thought about me dream. I closed my eyes and tried to erase the image out of my head and I felt the bed dip as Sam got in. I tried to ignore him but the bed was too small to not brush up against him. 

“Oh my God! You’re freezing!” he said after he felt my arm. He then rubbed my arm and squeezed me. 

“Oh my God! You are so warm. I don’t think I would mind staying here because I would have a personal giant hot water bottle.” I said as I snuggled up to his chest and laughed. Then I realized. I was snuggling Sam Winchester. SAM WINCHESTER! The guy I had a crush on for the past month or something. The guy I had to look at every day and try to ignore my feelings. The guy who liked to hear me sing. I was freaking out. Then the image popped up in my head. I stopped laughing and my eyes started to sting. I am not going to cry in front of Sam. I am not going to cry in front of Sam. I am not going to cry in front of Sam. I said that in my head until I started crying.

“Hey hey hey. What’s wrong?” Sam said worried.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” I said sniveling and wiping away my tears.

“No, you’re not. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It was just a dream, that’s all.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“No….um yes.” I replied, “I was running, just like all my other dreams, but this time I was running towards someone in a field. The person was in pain. Sam…..it was you. You were hurt. I put your head…. in my lap and I saw….saw the life fade out of your eyes. Then the voice started again. He said he needed me and you couldn’t ….save me. He would usually say the same sentence every dream but… he added to it this time. He said that the Winchesters would regret their decision sooner than I… thought.” I said in between whimpers.

“Sssshhh, its ok, its ok. Nobody can hurt you here.” He cooed as he rubbed my back.

“I know, but I… it hurt to…look at you like that.” 

“Forget that. How about you sing, huh. I know it relaxes you. Sing that song you sang to me. I want to hear it again.” Sam pleaded and I just couldn’t refuse. 

 

Carry on my wayward son

There’ll be peace when you are done

Lay you’re weary head to rest

Don’t you cry no more

 

Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion

I was soaring ever…

I fell asleep before I could finish and the dream didn’t come back.


	13. Sam's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the chapter after it are from Sam's POV.

Sam’s POV:

I woke up early and saw Y/N in my arms. Thank god it wasn’t a dream. She looked so peaceful I didn’t dare move. She had a smile on her face and she looked like all her worries were washed away. She was so confident looking, unlike during the day. I knew she always thought little of herself even though she is perfect in every single way. In fact, she is better than perfect. But I couldn’t tell her that. She liked Dean. What other explanation was there? She was so comfortable. And according to what she said yesterday, she slept in his room almost every night. I had to push my feelings away.

“Winchester, you know that it’s weird to stare at people while they sleep, right?” she said with her eyes closed. She fluttered her eyes open and looked up into my eyes. She blushed before rubbing her face in my chest. She was so adorable. 

“Oh my God! How are you always this warm? You make me jealous Winchester, so jealous!” she said laughing

“We should get up before…” I started but stopped when Dean came to my door.

“Sam! Y/N isn’t in her…Oooooooh, um I’ll leave,” he smirked, winked and left. 

“Your brother is so weird, Sam, how do you live with him?” she said trying to ignore what Dean thought we were doing. I am so confused, if she liked Dean and Dean liked her (hence the sleeping in his bed thing) why did he wink. I brushed the thought aside. 

“Ok, we should get up.” I said, my voice deep with sleep.

“No, stay, you equals warmth equals me likey.” she said.

“Come on, I’m hungry and Dean said you need to eat so get up.” I said

“Why Sam, I thought you were the fun one, let’s sleep in today, pretty please with a cherry on top?” she pleaded, but I knew that she were skipping meals so I had to get her to eat something or she would be skin and bones any seconds now. There was also something waiting for her in the kitchen. So I wrapped my arms around Y/N and kicked the blanket of and carried her to the kitchen bridal style.

“Sam, Sam! Put me down!” she said as you buried your head in the crook of my neck. I loved how close she were being and I didn’t want her to stop.

“Sam please! I can’t! Stop! Put me down!” Y/N shrieked and I laughed.

“Y/N, are afraid of heights?” I asked still laughing

“Don’t flatter yourself Winchester, you’re not that tall, but…” she looked down and put her head on my shoulder again,”Ok, maybe I am.” She said in a muffled voice as we walked over to the kitchen. 

“Don’t worry,” I said as I kissed Y/N's head, “I got you.”


	14. Sam's POV part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys i just wanted to say that if my description of the bunker is sorta off its because I just started season 5 and the bunker has yet to be introduced and i read a lot about it so i thought i would put it in. *hugs and kisses* . Also would like to add that i only know of 10 people who like my work so far and that's because they left kudos and i would like to say that if you like my work feel free to comment. Any feedback appreciated.  
> P.S. read end notes when done.

When we got to the kitchen, I couldn’t help but notice how different you looked. You looked….prettier. You were less shy than usual. You usually wouldn’t be able to look me in the eyes without turning away. Maybe it’s because you’ve been eating recently. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Dean put out a plate for everyone, including yourself, with a stack of chocolate chip pancakes. 

“Aww Dean, my favorite.” You said smiling

“What else for my princess on her birthday?” dean said smiling. You covered your face with your hands and you couldn’t be more adorable.

“Dean!” you said, “How did you know?” 

“Oh, I just got Sammy boy to do some research for me!” he said as he pointed at me. I shrugged sheepishly and scratched the back of my head.

“Sam!” you slapped my arm playfully, “You knew about this and didn’t tell me!” I laughed.

“So….were you surprised?” I asked.

“Of course I was, I seem to be the only one who forgot about my own birthday in the entire bunker! Thanks guys, you really didn’t have to do all this.” you said laughing.

“Aww, you deserve it. You’ve gone through so much. Hope you have a good birthday, Y/N. You’re like the little sister I never had.” Dean said sheepishly. Little sister. Little sister. That’s what all of that was. Everything suddenly clicked, but I knew that you didn’t feel anything for me. So I just….. I had to find a distraction. I thought as you pulled Dean into a hug.

“You too skyscraper. Come on, you think I would forget about you?” you said as you wrapped your arms around my neck.

“Ok,” Dean said clapping his hands together, “In honor of you Y/N, we are going to stay in today and have a movie night.” 

“Yay!!!” you squealed, “Let’s watch Mean Girls” 

“What?” dean asked

“OMG you don’t know Mean Girls? You need a serious movication right now.” You said surprised. I love the way you’re passionate about everything. Everything from Doctor Who to Harry Potter. You are such a nerd, and I want so badly for you to be my nerd. You sat on the couch and patted the seats next you. 

***

After we watched Mean Girls, Pitch Perfect, and The Breakfast Club, we started Aladdin. It was your favorite movie. After a little bit, you put your head on my shoulder and started drifting off to sleep. 

“Sammy….” Dean started.

“Yeah?” I urged him to continue.

“I know that you like Y/N.” He blurted out.

“What?” a surprised reply escaped my mouth.

“You’re not that good at hiding stuff like that.” He said smirking

“Yeah, well. She doesn’t like me like that.” I said with a forlorn look on my face.

“Sammy, you really think that?” 

“Yeah. She never even looks at me. She is too shy around me all the time. I honestly thought she liked you because she is comfortable around you. Hell, she sleeps in your bed 6 days a week.”

“Not yesterday.”

“That was just cause you were asleep.”

“Sammy, she was comfortable around me enough to tell me that she liked you. That’s why she can’t even look you in the eyes. She is too afraid she is not good enough for you. She’s afraid of rejection, Sammy. So don’t hurt my princess.” 

I couldn’t say anything I was so shocked. Y/N liked me. Y/N likes me. I like her. But I couldn’t just straight up tell her that I like her too. 

“Ok, Sammy. Take Y/N back to her room, I wanna go down to the bar.” Dean said breaking my train of thought. 

“Wait up for me, I’m gonna come too.” 

“Ok I’ll be in the car.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! Sam knows! whats gonna happen next?!?!?! Find out next Sunday. I'm gonna start to make this thing a periodical so i can have time to write new chapters. I only spilled out the first 14 because i was already writing this before. Any suggestions for the new chapters are appreciated. *hugs and kisses*


	15. Drunk Shenanigans

I woke up in my room. I walked around the bunker and found a note on the fridge:

Y/N,  
Sammy and I went to the bar  
We’ll be back by midnight  
-Dean   
P.S. Please eat something.

It was already 11:30, I slept all day. I opened the fridge and found some left over pancakes. I heated one up and went to the library. I started to thumb through the books and found the one I was looking for. If I Stay. I loved that book. I wanted her relationship and I wanted to feel that love, but I probably never will. I’m not good enough for any one let alone Sam Winchester. I started to read it and I finished the pancake moments before I heard the door open. 

“Y/N! We’re home!” Dean yelled out.

“Where are you?” Sam yelled out. They were drunk. I hated it when they were drunk. 

“I’m in the library.” I replied

“We’re coming in, better be wearing something.” Dean said before he walked.

“Hey, Dean. How was the bar?” 

“Good, good, it was just fantastic.” He said with a smile on his face. “Did you eat anything?”

“Yeah, I ate a pancake left over from breakfast.”

“Birthday Girl!” Sam said as he stumbled in, “Where’s the birthday girl?” 

“Right here. Oh God, you guys are so drunk. You’re gonna regret this in the morning.” I said.

“Why are like this Y/N?”

“I just don’t like it when you guys get drunk, that’s all.” 

Sam sat down and put his head on the table and slept within two seconds.

“Ok, I’m gonna go sleep, you take Sammy to his room.” Dean said quickly as he got out of the room.

“Wait, you’re leaving me to take the giant to his room. He’ll topple over me. I’m less than half of his height!” I yelled after him but it was useless. I had to take the moose to bed.

“Ok, C’mon Sam, let’s go to your room.” He groaned in refusal. “C’mon Sam.” I whined. Then a light bulb went off in my head out of nowhere.

“Sam…. Would you like it if I sing to you?” He perked up and nodded his head.

“I’ll only do it when you’re in bed.” I said in a sing-song voice.

“Fine.” He murmured as he got up. I walked with him to his room and tucked him in. 

“Y/N?” he asked with eyes closed. “Stay with me.” 

“But Sam I….” 

“Pleeeeeaaaaase” he whined. I sighed and got into the bed. I was immediately enveloped in the strong arms of Sam Winchester. “Ok, now sing.” He said. I laughed at how he was acting. 

“Ok, what do you want me to sing?” I asked

“Anything….just sing.”

“Ok….”

If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors  
Oh, and, life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life  
Oh well, I've had just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song

I sang as he stroked my hair and I fell asleep in his arms almost as fast as he did on the library table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it's been ages since I last updated and I am really truly sorry! What kept me away from AO3 was actually tumblr! I now have a tumblr with approximately 150 followers! I have a Jared fic going on on there as well as a couple of one shots and a song fic! If you would like to, go check me out! My url is @jared-padaloveme and my blog is: Just A Superwholock. I think I'm might end this story soon or I might move it there, Still contemplating!

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! You read some of my work. I really hope you know that i really appreciate it. If you like it please leave a comment and I'll make sure to reply. *hugs and kisses*  
> \- Juju_Winchester


End file.
